Meet The Guys

The Fallsman

Like many of today's population, The Fallsman is a product of divorce, which ironically, is the best thing that could have ever happened to him. First, his father moved to Pittsburgh where he later introduced the then-Fallsboy to the Pirates, Steelers and Penguins, and second, he lived with his mother where he avoided the routine search warrants and FBI questioning that followed his father around.

His first experience with Pittsburgh sports occurred on July 2, 1982 when Bryn Smith intentionally walked then-aging Willie Stargell in the bottom of the seventh of game two of a double-header against the Expos.

"I had never been anywhere with 35,000 people at once before and once Pops hobbled up to the on-deck circle, they all stood and yelled at the same time," The Fallsman recalled. "It scared the crap out of me, but immediately replaced it with a love of the Pirates."

After that fateful night and a double-header sweep of the 'spos, then-Fallsboy hung his head out the window of his father's 1979 Oldsmobile Delta 88 and screamed, "Beat 'em Bucs" all the way home to Munhall. His father gladly paid the disturbing the peace fines.

The Fallsman was born at an early age in West Virginia, raised in Kentucky and currently resides in Alabama, meaning he is either a glutton for punishment and surrounds himself with, or is, white trash. He is married and has a son, Grant, who was born in March of 2005 and has already been proclaimed the first overall pick of the 2023 MLB draft.

An award-winning humor and sports writer, The Fallsman's human alter ego is a publicity guy for a college athletic department. He is the author of the website "Falls, off the Rocker" which most famously once claimed you should never refer to a woman as, "babe, chick, sweetie or Our Lady of Cleavage."

His athletic prowess culminated in being the guy who filmed the games for the 1987 Class A Kentucky State Champion Pikeville Panther football team. As part of the post game celebration, The Fallsman consumed so much alcohol (as a high school freshman, mind you) that the players stripped him naked, wrapped him in a bed sheet and threw him in the hallway of the hotel. He disappeared and is, to this day, referred to as "toga" by his high school chums.

He is a graduate of both West Virginia University and Morehead State; the school is so nice, they named it for a sexual request.

The Fallsman claims to be an expert on nothing other than avoiding household chores and consuming Diet Pepsi. He can be found online at fallsman@burghsportsguys.com, and in the real world finding subtle ways to scratch him self.